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What About These Girls And Guys Sorry The Wifes Nagging Again About Me Always Making Fun Of Women ?

What do men and beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? – did it ever happen??
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
What is a man’s idea of doing housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the sh*t out of you.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their p*nises? So oxygen can get into their brains
How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes
Why is it good that there are women astronauts? So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini
Why do men like blonde jokes so much? Because they can understand them
What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won’t accept a 3½” floppy
Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift? Exchange him.
Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites Attract.
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Why do doctors slap babies’ butts right after they’re born? To knock the p*nises off the smart ones.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the p*nis called? The man.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? When it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
What do a clit*ris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Why are men like commercials? You can’t believe a word they say.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.